07. The Insider’s Guide to the Most Important Unimportant Things
Tabis, Tomato Candles and TikTok drama plus another free million dollar biz idea for you to steal
RETAIL ROUNDTABLE! RETAIL ROUNDTABLE! RETAIL ROUNDTABLE! RETAIL ROUNDTABLE!
Hiiiiii! Let’s get right into it- this week has been weird AF. Let’s chat.
First of all, we’re doing another little rapid fire today. Partially because they're so fun and I love pretending I'm famous and interviewing myself. Partially because my brain is at like 40%.
This week has had so many highs and lows it’s felt like such a mind f*$!: I had some really really good calls and feel like I’m truly finding my footing and have some exciting things coming up to knock off my goals for this year. Plus, I finally crawled out of the dark place (ie LinkedIn) and made a small return to creating content there. I've decided to just slowly become more unhinged over there—memes, my normal shit talking—I just want to be me~~~
I also got very sick (yay chronic illness things!) and rearranged my entire calendar and haven’t seen the inside of a pilates studio in a week. I’m so tired it’s unbelievable so that’s been a joy.
Is this the reality of being self-employed? Being an absolute dumpster fire while simultaneously feeling like I had enough wins that I'm a fully capable person? IDFK.
But here we are. It's Thursday, you're here for the tea, and I'm here to deliver even when I'm operating on low battery.
First, let's set the vibe. Grab your Dieux eye patches and layer them with your Sarah Creal peptide serum, pop open a Kin Euphorics Lightwave to finally wind down for the week, and light some Astier de Villatte incense (we’re desert girls over here). This is self-care meets content consumption at its finest. We’re not even dealing with the news today.
Let’s get into it- shall we?
What I’m mentally moodboarding: We live under an early morning dictatorship and I am falling victim. I WILL BE A MORNING PERSON! I WILL BE A MORNING PERSON! I WILL BE A MORNING PERSON! I will also be a hot morning person according to this Pinterest board I’ve created. We’ll fucking seeeeee!
What I’m claiming as my summer personality: One too many fish necklaces (someone pls explain why this is happening in my brain- I am so obsessed with them!) a la éliou, Etsy or Free People, tomato candles (this one has an incred burn time) and micro crochet shorts. Channeling a more SoCal version of “The Girls” by Emma Cline without all the murder.
What’s on my summer TBR: It’s an Elin Hilderbrand summer 1000%. Add to that my copy of “Diary of a Mad Diva” to read poolside at the Wynn while people watching and eating a caesar salad wrap. I read nothing intellectual over the summer- pure smut and romcoms. My brain is off!
What I’m emotionally investing in this week: The way this article from The Cut has the girls fighting online and questioning their entire identities. Has completely taken over my FYP and I love the existential crises.
What's in my cart but shouldn't be: These Gianvitos that fit into my life in no way at all but have been sitting in an open tab for ~2 mos.
Texts that made me laugh really hard this week:
What trend I'm single-handedly trying to kill: Judging from my reposts on TikTok, Tabis. The elevated Croc of the fashion world.
Whose closet I want to raid immediately: Olivia Duncan. No questions asked.
What marketing pivot gave me whiplash: Airmail promoting #SkinnyTok and Liv Schmidt. I’m so fucking done I STG. No link needed.
What launch I’m reverse-engineering like I work there (I don’t—yet): Let me get this entire marketing strategy reorganized for my girls at
- the potential is unreal. You have my email already ;)What I want a Substack essay about: The irony of Duolingo becoming an “AI first company” when language is the most personal and human thing about us all. We’re so cooked.
What I’ve fake-launched in my head this week: Back to being delulu about my very VERY intimate, invite only, beachfront pilates studio in SD and going almost fully off the grid. Never say never- I love to rebrand.
Fake business idea you can steal from me Part 2: For all of us who've bought something full price only to see it 40% off a week later... Imagine an app that predicts luxury price drops based on historical data. Like 'hey, that Zimmermann dress you're eyeing? Based on past seasons, it'll probably go on sale in 3 weeks so hold for now...' Game changer, right? Bonus points for auto refunds.
What collab would break the internet if it happened (but it won’t): Spice Girls x Pat McGrath released on the next Aquarius full moon (for my other Aquarius rising girls) on August 9th (my birthday - it's fated).
Who I want to see show up at HBS next: I’d like a panel with Sustainable Fashion Friend, plzdontbuythat, Chelsea Kramer and maybe the Daily Drills team the next time they launch identical looking collections within a week of each other. Is that messy?
Another brand I think is a money laundering scheme but still isn't! It's still a joke!!!: Vuori.
I’m wrapping this up quickly because my work week is over and I want nothing more than to get on my couch with RHOA and my dog and be in bed by 9p.m. (I will be a hot morning person! I will be a hot morning person! I will be a hot morning person!)
LYLAS <3
xx
Carly